mismatched shelves

This morning I woke up feeling like I was coming down with some kind of crud--not bad, and not unexpected considering I've been coughing my head off for a few days, but not fun either. So I didn't do much today.

In fact, all I'd intended to do was add a bracket to the long shelf I put up yesterday, then use wood glue to stick the two wooden brackets to the wall better. But the wood glue worked so well that I decided to put the second shelf up today after all. I added a third bracket. It doesn't match. This is going to drive me crazy enough that I will probably go back to the store eventually and get a third wooden bracket to match. And then I won't be able to get the metal bracket off the wall.

The problem was, when I put one of the particleboards on the brackets to see how it looked, it was much too wide for the brackets. Well, crap. But there are all kinds of old boards stored in the rafters, so I pulled one of the shorter pieces down and sawed it in half.

(This sounds much easier than it was. Actually, it was easy: it's an old board and sawed easily. The problem was I didn't have a real saw, just a bowsaw, so I had to go back to the store for like the 40th time this weekend to buy one.)

The wood was so beautifully weathered that I decided it didn't need staining, which by an amazing coincidence matched up with my desire to never stain anything ever again. I put the back piece up first, nailing it inexpertly to the studs (I am really very bad at nailing). Then I put the shelf piece up and secured it with a single screw, because I didn't feel like doing anything else and it feels pretty sturdy and anyway I just want to go to bed and watch River Monsters.

Hopefully it'll still be there tomorrow. If the wood glue fails overnight, all my new bottles are going to smash and I'll be sad.

Also, if you ever think I'm being modest when I say I'm a slapdash worker, keep in mind that I didn't actually use a level on that shelf. I just eyeballed it. It only tilts a little.

Breaking everything!

I started off this afternoon's project by breaking a glass. It was just a little votive candle holder, so it's not like it was expensive. But it was a harbinger of things to come.

I had several things I wanted to do this weekend. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find some of the supplies I need to do the things, so they'll have to wait. I did get some particle-board to use for shelves, though, and when I got home I immediately got to work staining them (after I swept up the broken glass).

The previous owners of the house--the ones who I think of as the monkey family, since the bathrooms sure smelled like a monkey house when I moved in--had started a project in the garage but never finished it. Bless their hearts. I'm not sure what they had in mind, but it looks like two shelves for very, very tall people. But the shelves they left were the crappy, plasticky kind from a cheap bookshelf. I moved those out right away; they're leaning against the side of the garage now in hopes bees will carry them away.

So I was left with a jerry-rigged structure for a shelf. I had to remove the pieces that are sticking up in that picture--they weren't very secure, they didn't seem to have any real function, and they were in the way. Apparently the monkey family ran out of the right length of screws by the time they got to those pieces, though, because the screws were really short, buried into the wood half an inch or more and impossible to extract. So I used a combination of brute force and twisting to wrench them off. It worked, but one day I'm going to try that and get my eyeballs impaled or something.

I wore a pair of those one-size-fits-all-if-you're-a-guy-and-have-big-hands nylon gloves while staining the shelves, and of course they got slippery. So when I picked up the can of stain halfway through the job to move it, no surprise that it slid right out of my grasp and splashed all over the floor. Oops. [picture below shows stain AFTER cleaning, not before. It looked much worse before]

I used as much of the spilled stain to finish the shelves as fast as I could. Then I mopped up more of it from the floor, smearing it all over the place. I may have said some bad words. Finally I just left it and put the big shelf up to see how it looked.

Well, it looks pretty good. It needs a bracket or something in the middle because it sags, but I'll pick one up eventually. I also tried to hang two wooden brackets I'd stained to go with one of the smaller shelves, but it turns out they need more hardware. I'm not sure what to get or how to make them secure on the wall. They look good just sitting there, though. I'll figure something out.

Finally I couldn't put it off anymore and checked the can of stain to see what it suggested for clean-up. Well, it doesn't. Most of the label is taken up with warnings. The stain is very flammable, so I figured it couldn't hurt to try lighter fluid and see if that helped. It's not like I could make it even more flammable than it already is.

Lighter fluid worked a little. Nothing is going to get it all up, though. That's okay, it's a garage floor. I went into the house, scrubbed my hands and arms with lighter fluid (while I had the can open) to get the stain off, then scrubbed my hands and arms with soap to get the lighter fluid off. Then I did it all again because of course I didn't get all the stain off. When I discovered I was trying to scrub off a bruise, I gave up and took a shower.

After I was clean and in fresh clothes, I went back out to the garage and tinkered around with little stuff for a while. I found a candle-holder I'd almost forgotten about and put a candle in it. Before I lit the candle (to drip wax into the holder so the candle would sit upright), I determined that if the garage went up in a ball of flame, I would grab the photo of my imaginary boyfriend if possible before I bolted outside into the rain.

I wish I'd gotten more done today. Tomorrow I'll work on hanging a second shelf if I can manage to figure out the brackets.

Antiquing haul

After yardwork, garage cleaning, and lunch, I went antiquing. I went to four different shops and spent--gulp--fifty bucks all told. But I got some fun stuff.

For some reason I was suddenly drawn to bottles. I'll have to figure out some way to display them, maybe on a shelf.

From left to right: an empty Sloan's Liniment bottle, a full bottle of clock oil YES CLOCK OIL OMG NOW I NEED A CLOCK, an empty bottle that might have been hand lotion or something--it says something about rose water and glycerin, two full bottles of litmus paper (red and blue), and a full bottle of "parchment black" ink.

I also got this rusty and gummy oil can, because I liked it and it wasn't very expensive.

I love old photos, and I got three very interesting ones. Two are of children. The first picture is of a little girl, who looks exactly like she was just told to sit there and "don't move," and she's tired and wants to change out of her good clothes so she can go play. The second picture is of a fat little baby who looks adorably squashy, sitting in a chair with...rocks in the background. And apparently those things in the foreground are rugs that are probably sitting out to dry. Because nothing says "I love my baby" like having its picture taken in front of rocks.

Lastly is this guy's picture. I spent considerable time digging through boxes of old photos, looking for a debonair gentleman to swoon over. As you do. Obviously I couldn't quite find one, but the more I looked at this guy's picture the more I liked him. He's reasonably good-looking, but even better, he clearly has a sense of humor. It was as though he knew, when the photographer was taking his picture, that a hundred years later some woman was going to find it in an antique shop and decide to make him her imaginary boyfriend. I wish it had his name on it.

Now, things I didn't get because they were too expensive. I wish I'd taken pictures, but I suspect that as soon as I can scrape up the money for them I'll go back and buy them if they're still available. The one thing I practically drooled over and must own eventually is an old brass blowtorch. YES. It was $90. It will one day be mine, at least as soon as I sell another story and can justify spending that much. I also really wanted the Underwood typewriter even though it needs refurbishing before it works. It was $95, which really isn't bad considering what good shape it's in. And I wanted the Singer foot treadle sewing machine for $125, but I'm actually not sure if the sewing machine was part of it; in those models (which are not uncommon) the machine folds down into the cabinet so it can be used as a table, and it was folded down. I didn't open it up since I couldn't have afforded it anyway.

When I got home, I spraypainted three hideous fakey-gold picture stands bronze, which will hopefully make them look less hideous. Once they're dry I can display my new photos.

The shelves, before and after

Finally it's the weekend, which means I can get back to work on the garage. It's taking me so much longer than I expected!

Today I took three trips to the dump and one to Goodwill, getting rid of eight or nine bags of stuff in all. There's more to go, but I was too embarrassed to go to the dump again. It'll keep.

I wanted to accomplish something today that would make me feel like I'm actually making progress. So I focused on the brick-and-board shelves that used to hold gardening stuff.

I'd never stained wood before, at least not that I recall, and I was a bit intimidated. I don't know why. It was ludicrously simple. I stained the table in the back corner of the garage first, and it was not only easy but I thought it looked really good immediately.

Of course everything's easy if you do a sloppy job. I have low standards.

I let the boards dry for a few hours while I worked in the yard and ran errands (in that order, so I probably frightened some people with my appearance). Then I stacked the bricks, making sure that each pair was the same height since the bricks were a mixture of new pavers and very old bricks, some of them apparently handmade.

It looked good when done, and I had a few fun minutes decorating it. All the stuff on the shelves was already in the garage, incidentally. This might be a good time to mention that my grandmother was an antique dealer for decades. Me and my brother and all our cousins grew up helping move furniture, and along the way we absorbed a lot of knowledge and interest in antiques. Most of the stuff on the shelves, though, was my mother's.

Tomorrow I'll arrange more furniture, sweep the garage out, and make some decisions about what to do with all those boxes of Christmas decorations. And if I have time, I'll hit the antique shops. I need some gadgets.

Paint and paint and paint

Everything was ready for me to paint today. The first thing I did was examine the cans of leftover paint I'd intended to use.

There were three cans, one almost full, one half-full, and one almost empty, the latter two the same shade of brown. I started with the nearly empty can and on the back wall.

I wasn't sure what to expect, but the paint covered the chipboard (that is chipboard, right? I have no idea) quite well and looked good. The shade was listed as creme brulee and the paint was from 2009. It also happens to be the same shade in the living room and hallway of the house.

The painting didn't seem very difficult, not when I could work from section to section between those strut things. I emptied the first paint can and moved on to the next, only taking a break to bring an old CD player out into the garage to listen to. But the CD player was broken, with only the radio still working. It may be the crappiest radio ever made. Almost the only station I could tune in seemed to be the Alede/Mumford & Sons station. Finally I just turned it off and listened to birdsong and rain.

If I ever offer to help you paint, you might want to give me the task of holding the ladder. My middle name should probably be slapdash. I slapped paint onto the walls with more speed than accuracy.

After I finished the back wall and a few panels on the front wall to empty the second paint can, I took a break for lunch. When I came back, I opened the nearly full paint can.

It was labeled beige. Who buys beige paint on purpose? I think this was the shade on the bedroom walls, but I (okay, my brother and I; he did the edges and corners, I did the middles and held the ladder) painted those rooms pale blue before moving in.

Really it was just a few shades lighter than the creme brulee, but those few shades were enough to make it really unattractive. It was yellowish-green more than brown, reminiscent of infant diarrhea. And because it was so much lighter in color, it didn't cover as well.

It was also clear that even with nearly a gallon of the paint, I wasn't going to have enough. I put the beige away and went to the store.

I went for a darker, warmer brown but only got a gallon. I don't know why I didn't get two. I also got a can of copper spraypaint and three outlet covers--just unfinished wood, but practically the first thing I did when I got home was spraypaint them copper.

Then I went around and spraypainted all the exposed wires I could reach. Exposed wires, sure; that goes well with what my garage will eventually look like. But bright yellow insulating coating? No way. I sprayed that stuff. I also sprayed a piece of PVC pipe that was protecting a grounding wire, so now it looks like a piece of copper tubing.

It looks awesome. I love that paint. I would have continued to use it, on the ladder and the lawnmower and anything else metal, but I wanted to finish the walls. I opened the new paint and got started.

The dark brown looked great. I liked it even better than the creme brulee. Unfortunately, of course, I didn't have enough to do both side walls. By the time I'd finished one, I was down to a quarter of a gallon.

I considered going back to the store for more. But I still had that beige paint that I needed to use up. After all, I'd decided to paint the garage initially just to use up old paint.

I looked at what was left of the brown paint. I looked at the beige paint. What if...I mixed the paints?

I poured about a half gallon of the beige into the brown and mixed them well. I was surprised at the shade that resulted, darker than the beige but with a robust color more like a paler shade of the brown.

But I still didn't have enough. There were still seven strips to paint when I ran out.

So I used the beige for the rest. The effect is less than beautiful, but I think I can line up shelves or something with the change of color to make it less noticeable.

I had intended to stain the shelf boards today too, but it was past eight by the time I finished. So I just replaced the old outlet covers with the newly painted ones and called it a day.

Now that the painting is done, I need to finish decluttering and start arranging. And I have this copper spraypaint to use up.

Preparing for paint

I had to proctor the ACT this morning, so I didn't get to work on the garage until late afternoon after that and errands. When I'm away from home, I think about the garage and remember it as being mostly empty. Then I come home and open the garage door.

Today I wasn't really sure what to work on. I only had a few hours between getting home and going back out (in, like, five minutes; type faster!) so I knew I couldn't start painting. After poking around for a while I decided I'd clear off the brick-and-board shelves so I could stain the boards.

But somehow, after moving everything off the boards, sorting through it and pitching a few things, and propping the boards outside to sweep clean later, I started moving everything into the middle of the garage. I didn't do much sorting, just hauled stuff away from the walls.

I kept finding things I'd forgotten I owned, including a plastic bin full of stuff I thought had been lost in the move. Some phrases don't get uttered often on this planet, but I added one to the tally of, "Hey, there's my niddy-noddy!"

After moving everything, I got the broom and started sweeping cobwebs off the walls. I wish I'd swept the kitchen floor first--it really needs it, but no way am I putting that broom back in the house now. I'll buy a new house broom and keep this one in the garage from now on. Because spiderwebs, of course. Lots and lots of them.

As I swept, I noticed that whoever built the garage did a bit of a slipshod job. There are a lot of too-long nails poking through, a lot of mismatched bits of wood. In short, it looks like I built it myself. In one corner etched into the concrete floor is "Carly Rae '07." I'm pretty sure that "Call Me Maybe" singer never lived in this house, though.

And if anyone asks, that was 1907, okay? Pretty soon, I hope, it will start to look like it. I keep noticing things I want to steampunk up after I finish the heavy lifting of painting, cleaning, and sorting. That'll be the fun part.

Step One: The Unboxinating

This morning I rolled out of bed all fired up to start the garage project. I hadn't been able to do anything the previous evening because we'd had storms roll through, and I'd spent most of the evening watching the Weather Channel with one hand on my go bag in case of tornadoes.

But by morning the rain was gone, leaving cool but sunny April weather behind. Time to get to work!

I'd put the car in the garage in case of hail, so I worked around it. The garage will remain a car-shelter even after it's converted into my steampunk workshop and laboratory; I might as well get used to having the central area out of bounds.

My first impression was of a lot of mess and clutter--a lot more than I remembered. I grabbed a garbage bag and got to work, pitching empty topsoil bags (why did I leave them on the floor last spring? Why?), cracked plastic flowerpots, crumpled empty seed packets (was I planning on using them for origami or something? Last year me, you were so crazy), and an inexplicable broken coat hanger.

As I worked my way slowly across the back of the garage, filling garbage bags, I came across a mountain of cardboard boxes. My first thought? "Oh, I need those."

NO I DON'T. I don't need those! I closed my etsy shop three years ago; I don't have to obsessively save boxes to ship things out in. Time to break those boxes down.

So I did. And I did. And I did some more. And then I found another stack of older boxes in the corner from when I moved in.

It took me the better part of an hour to break down all the boxes, strip off as much plastic tape as possible, and knock off all the spiders. Apparently I'd been using the boxes to store my collection of live spiders.

When I was done, I put the boxes in the car and drove them to the recycle center. And that is step one finished.

I've got a long way to go.

Welcome to My Garage

The steampunk-my-garage project started with me wanting to make myself a nightgown. I have a very small house and a cat (named Jekyll), so of course here's what happened.

I thought, "I need a cutting table, preferably in a room where I can shut the door." But as I say, my house is tiny. Where would I put a cutting table?

The next day I found myself turning that thought over in my mind. Then I realized that I had lots of room in the garage!

Of course, I can't afford a cutting table. But I could make one! Maybe! And if I made my own table, I could make it a really cool table.

At this point I started browsing etsy for bits of steampunky hardware for my imaginary table.

It wasn't until the next day--apparently my brain ticks over pretty slowly--that I had a sudden epiphany. Steampunk table? You're dreaming too small, self. The whole garage could be steampunked up.

I grabbed a notebook and started sketching ideas and making lists of things I needed to do. I've only lived in this house a year and a half. There's not all that much clutter in the garage. I wrote, "1. Take stuff to Goodwill and dump. 2. Sort through paint cans and decide what to keep and what to throw. 3. Paint garage interior. 4. Decorate!" Because I thought it would be simple, a weekend project.

That was yesterday. And it's already clear that I'm facing many, many weekends of work before I'm done. But when I do finish, my garage is going to be the most awesome laboratory that any eccentric inventor has ever seen.

I hope.

Also, maybe eventually I'll find the time to finish sewing that nightgown.